


Duality

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adoption, Bullying, Caste, Child Abuse, Child Labour, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Death, Exploitation, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, New Parents, Remans (Star Trek), Romulan Mining Colony, Romulans, Security Officer - Freeform, Slavery, Star Trek (2009) - Freeform, Star Trek Beyond, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Star Trek: The Original Series - Freeform, Starfleet, Starfleet Academy, Starship Enterprise (Star Trek), Starship Narada (Star Trek), TOS episodes between new movies, Tactical Officer, Temporary Character Death, Violence, Vulcan, Vulcan Culture, Vulcan Science Academy (Star Trek), War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-12 19:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21481393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It is not in a Vulcan's nature to lie. It is illogical, impractical, and more often than not does more harm than good. Though, in this case, I can hardly imagine it doing any harm. And as I am not entirely Vulcan, I can permit myself a small alteration of data and feel little regret doing it. However, I do regret involving my father in this, no matter how grateful I am to him for it. Without his help, it wouldn't have been possible for a creature such as myself to join Starfleet. If I am to be found out, one could only imagine the consequences of my actions, no matter how banal they might have been.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Female Character(s), Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Romulan Character(s), Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Vulcan Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29





	1. Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf

**Remus, Romulan Space, Sector Z-6**

Nakai followed the Remans with hunched shoulders and swollen knuckles, only a few of the inhabitants of this planet that had been enslaved by the Romulans. They were permitted baths once a week, but long ago were the times that they still tried to scrub the dilithium dust out of their broken nails or the lines on their pale sunken faces. Nakai had only been working for a simple year, but already she could feel their suffering. It crept into her, slowly but surely. Yesterday was the first day she'd stopped scrubbing the glowing dust off her skin.

She could clearly remember her first day down in these tunnels. She was terrified, fought every order and got punished for it. The scars were there to prove it. Her lungs burned from the dust, her muscles ached, and when she'd emerge from the blackened pits she could hardly recognise herself. She could taste nothing but dust and dilithium crystals for weeks. Now, her lungs had gotten used to the air down in the tunnels, to the lack of sunlight, and her muscles, albeit the muscles of a five-year-old child, had gotten used to the work. 

Nakai's mother was ahead, head facing the front and face expressing no emotion. You would think that even a Vulcan, in these circumstances, would show something. Never. T'Sath kept a straight face, never deviated from the rules, and never went against what Nakai's father had to say. She stepped into the blackness and was swallowed instantly, only the dim glow of the dilithium crystals kept Nakai from irrationally thinking that she'd vanished. Then, before she knew it, her feet were pounding over the crystal dust and into the shaft after T'Sath, barreling through Remans and Romulan guards alike. The cold dirty air invaded her lungs and stung her eyes. Underfoot was rough, and Nakai almost tripped, but the Remans had her back. One of them caught her as she fell and stood her up straight.

"Be careful, little one," a voice said in her mind.  
"Thank you, Vrisrix," Nakai returned.  
"Go to your mother, now."

Nakai nodded softly and walked the rest of the distance to her mother, carefully weaving through the guards on her way. She announced her presence by gently grasping her mother's hand.

"Nakai, you cannot be here," she said in her native tongue.  
"But mother, we are all going to the same place."  
"If Therruk finds out that we are not separated, both of us will endure punishment, Nakai."

Fear made Nakai's eyes widen. 

"More punishment, _m'aih _?"  
"Do not show your fear."  
"But _m'aih_-"  
"I know, Nakai. When we get off this planet, it will be easier."  
"Hey!"

Both T'Sath and Nakai turned to the booming voice. It was one of the Romulan guards escorting the slaves to the mines. Nakai had been subject to plenty of punishment by his hand. 

"Get back in line you little rat, or do I have to call your father?" he said in his native language.  
"Please, forgive her," T'Sath replied in the same speech. "She simply wanted to ask me a question, that is all."

The guard grunted.

"What is the question? Maybe I can give you an answer."  
"It is nothing your pea-brain could understand," Nakai said sharply.

The slap was as loud as a clap and stung her face and came to her almost in slow-motion. It was an open-handed smack and it left a red welt behind. Just below her eye was a small cut where the guard's nails had caught her, and green blood dripped down onto her cheek. Nakai staggered backwards, clutching her face, eyes watering. Everything else happened rather quickly.  
T'Sath pulled something from one of the folds in her threadbare clothes. It glinted in the dim glow of the dilithium, and she sunk it into the man's neck. He fell nearly instantly, and the rest of the Romulan guards swarmed her. Nakai went after her, but with a shout from T'Sath, Vrisrix grabbed her. 

"No, Vrisrix, my mother!"

Vrisrix did not listen. He pulled Nakai up into his arms and made a run for it. They went back up through the tunnels and evaded more guards with the help of other Remans, who blocked their path and attacked them if they got too close. When they got to the surface, the Romulans began shooting. Vrisrix put Nakai down behind cases of the crystals they mined and went out to engage a Romulan in a fight. When he came back, he was holding a disruptor pistol.

"Vrisrix, are we leaving?" Nakai asked in her mind.  
"Yes, we are," he responded, checking the disruptor's charge.  
"Without mother?"  
"It was her wish."

The scream that came from Nakai's mouth was primal. It was as if her mind was being shredded from the inside, her heart carved out of her chest. She cried like there was too much raw pain inside to be contained. She cried and screamed like her spirit needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release an elemental rage onto the planet. She would have taken a lifetime of slavery over being separated from her mother, her only family. Even now, T'Sath would have reprimanded her. It was the logical choice, the right choice. There was no reason for Nakai to feel this way, she would be safe and free. But Nakai didn't care. Her mother was all that she had except for her poor excuse of a father. As Vrisrix pulled her along to an empty freighter, she kicked and fought and wailed, fighting against him with every inch of her being. But it was no use. 

Vrisrix picked up the flailing child and entered the freighter. He locked the doors and dropped the child onto a seat, but she ran off and began clawing at the doors, trying to pry them open. To no avail. Vrisrix launched the ship and soon, T'Sath was far away. Remus attempted to shoot down the freighter several times, but Vrisrix evaded all attacks. Once out of Romulan space, there was nothing they could do. Going past the Vulcan-Romulan Neutral Zone was considered an act of war, which meant it wouldn't be long before a Vulcan patrol ship made their way towards them.

It took days before the Vulcans arrived, and Nakai spent most of those in complete silence. Her eyes had frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle, robbing them of their usual glimmer of curiosity. She was empty, like a shell, all her emotions expelled onto Remus as the last sounds her mother would ever hear from her, and it didn't change much when the Vulcans did come.

Vrisrix couldn't follow, which was another blow to the girl's soul, but unlike last time, she didn't fight it. They bid each other goodbye in the silence of their minds, and Nakai followed the Vulcans aboard their ship, wondering just exactly where Vrisrix would go. Fear began creeping back when the ship began to move. She was truly alone now, without any indication as to whether her mother was alive, or if Vrisrix would survive wherever he went. 

The Vulcans aboard the ship tried, in their own way, to comfort the girl, but she remained unresponsive. Her eyes were closed and her breathing steady, and her mind was trying very hard to find the connection to her mother or reconnect to Vrisrix who had just left. She ignored the Vulcans for the entire journey, her search growing more and more desperate and exhausting the further away from Remus they travelled until Nakai couldn't feel any connection from anyone at all.

* * *

* * *

** Planet Vulcan, Vulcan Space, Sector 001 **

It was another few days until they reached the Vulcan homeworld. As they descended through the atmosphere, Nakai's eyes burned from the bright sunlight that shone on most of the planet's surface, but she looked out anyway. The planet was a coppery colour, with greens and browns scattered throughout. A few lakes were hidden by clouds and storms of sand, and Nakai could have sworn to have seen lighting in one of them. The climate of the planet was much more pleasant than Remus'. The air was hot and dry, and the sun provided ample warmth. She didn't struggle to breathe at all, though her eyes still needed a little adjusting to the bright light. 

Nakai and the other Vulcans were greeted by seven others once they landed. As six of the Vulcans spoke to those who had escorted Nakai onto the planet, the seventh took a step forward. It was as if his grey eyes bore into her soul. 

"Come. We will bring you to a physician."

Nakai looked at him, unsure, but followed the man regardless. As they walked, Nakai's eyes wandered over the halls and the scenery. The buildings were tall and sandy in colour. The storms she saw on the ship could be seen in the distance, and lightning of the purest white struck down through the dust. 

"What is your name?"

Nakai's eyes wandered back to the sound of the voice. They had already made it to the physician; it was she who had spoken.

"Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf."  
"You speak our tongue," the physician said, sounding pleased. "I am Laanni. Come. We will get you cleaned up. Thank you, Strevek, I shall call you when I begin the tests."

Strevek nodded politely and exited.

"Tests?" Nakai asked.  
"Yes, we need to make sure that you are healthy."

Nakai nodded and kept quiet. She was nervous. The tests would most likely reveal what her father was, and that could cause any number of issues. 

Laanni led Nakai to an adjacent room where a warm bath waited for her. She slid into the water after removing her tattered clothes, and let it flow over her like a salve. Years and years of dust and mistreatment were washing away, and Nakai just wished that her mother could enjoy it as well. However, knowing where she was and the actions she'd taken to get Nakai off Remus, the young Vulcan suspected that she would never be able to enjoy anything again.

Laanni returned with clean clothes, and they were thick and soft, made of materials that Nakai could only dream of wearing when she was on Remus. However, the amazement at the garments was short-lived, as the tests were about to begin. Strevek was in the room already, and he lifted Nakai onto the examination table for Laanni. 

"I will now scan you."

Nakai nodded once and watched as the physician scanned her with a handheld machine. It beeped a few times, which made her nervous, but neither Strevek nor Laanni seemed to be concerned. When the scan was complete, both Vulcan looked over the diagrams and scans. A moment of silence preceded an interesting question.

"You are Vulcan, yes?" Laanni asked.  
"Yes," Nakai said simply.  
"But not completely."

Nakai shook her head.

"Then you are half-Human, I presume? A result of a union on the planet Remus," Strevek stated. "This is not surprising. Already we have a Hybrid on this planet. Another of the same will not change anything."  
"Strevek, the readings are different than that of Spock. They are closer to a Vulcan's than his," Laanni said. "The only conclusion that seems reasonable is that she is half-Romulan."

Strevek and Laanni looked at each other in silence.

"Is this true?" Strevek asked after a moment.

Nakai didn't say anything. She looked down at her hands and feet as if they'd suddenly become more interesting than anything else.

"Answer me, child," Strevek said, sternly.  
"Be patient, Strevek. Do not frighten her," Laanni said.  
"She is Vulcan, Laanni. She should not be frightened in the first place. It is not because she is at a disadvantage that we must be lenient. The Spock boy is growing up fine despite his, and it is because we did not coddle him." Strevek turned to Nakai again. "I ask you again. Are you Romulan?"

Nakai managed a small nod of her head. Something shone in Strevek's eyes, but she couldn't figure out what it was. 

"I must speak with the Council."  
"Very well," Laanni said. "I will continue the tests."

Strevek nodded, and with one last glance at Nakai, he left. Laanni continued the tests and questioned Nakai about her life on Remus. She retold everything with accuracy, and by the time she was done explaining, tears were falling from her eyes. Laanni looked at her strangely. Seeing someone who looked like a Vulcan show so much emotion was odd, even for a physician who had seen many ailments that affected a Vulcan's in more ways one could imagine. 

Strevek returned moments later. He asked that Laanni finish her tests and bring the girl before the Council as early as she could. Laanni obeyed, and after wiping the young Vulcan's tears away, lead her down many halls and corridors until they reached the biggest door Nakai had ever seen. Through it was a large and spacious room, with high chairs and desks at which the seven Vulcans who has come to greet her initially now sat. Strevek was among them.

At Laanni's instruction, Nakai walked slowly to the centre of the room and faced the seven men, craning her neck to see all of them so high. 

"Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf," one of them spoke. "You may be young, but it has been concluded you are of high enough intelligence to understand the entirety of your situation. It has been brought to the High Council's attention that you are a Hybrid. We have no issue with Hybrids, as one of our own has a son with a Human female. We take issue with the fact that you are in part Romulan."  
"It is not my fault," Nakai said quietly. "I did not ask for my mother to be taken advantage of."  
"While that is regrettable, we cannot allow a Romulan to share our planet. Therefore--"  
"My mother was a Vulcan!" Nakai shouted. "She fought every day for my survival, and sacrificed her life for me to be able to live here! Are you going to tell me that it was all for nought!?"  
"Who was your mother?" another member of the Council said.  
"My mother was T'Sath."

The Vulcans on the Council began muttering to each other. Nakai wondered how they all knew that name.

"The loss of T'Sath is a great one," another member said. "Because of this, as it was her wish, we will grant you citizenship of Vulcan. Under one condition: you must abide by our laws and our teachings, and you must learn to purge all emotion as is the way of Surak.   
"For this, one member of the Council take her in as his ward and raise her as his own. Sarek, I do not expect this of you, as you are already caring for young Spock."

It took a few moments, but one of the seven Vulcans stood. It was Strevek.

"I will take her as my ward, Sarvik."


	2. The Scheme

Even when her mother asked her to, it was hard controlling her emotions. Being half-Romulan, she was prone to emotional whims and passion and anger. Sometimes, Nakai didn't want to control them. She hated her father with all of her might, but when she knew emotions like these, she didn't always want to give them up and suppress them. But now, entering the Vulcan Learning Centre for the second consecutive year, Nakai had learned how to regardless. Or at least started to. Just like her mother would have wanted, Nakai no longer smiled, no longer cried, no longer got angry. Unless, of course, someone provoked her.

It was in the habit of Stravik, Strevek's son, to attempt to torment her, to elicit an emotional response from her as to get Nakai into trouble. It didn't always work, of course, and Stravik would try again some other time, but when it did work, Nakai would lose the control she'd begun to master. There was one time that he had insulted her mother, which got Nakai so angry that he wound up with a bloody and broken nose. 

There was another child who went through similar torment, this time at the hands of his classmates. Unlike Nakai, however, he never succumbed to the emotional half of his being. Sometimes, Nakai wished to be like him, able to completely master her emotions, but other times she wished that he just fought back and stopped the other Vulcan children from tormenting him. They were at it again this morning, jabbing him with words about his mother and his heritage. Spock kept his calm, but as Nakai walked past and listened on, she couldn't bear it this time. She slid down into the skill dome that they were in and stared them down.

"Ah, it is the other Hybrid. Have you come to join him?"  
"No, I have come to tell you to leave him alone," Nakai said rather politely.  
"There is no logical reason as to why I would listen to you."  
"How about my fist in your face? Is that a logical enough reason?"

The three Vulcan boys looked at each other.

"You lie."  
"Do you truly want to wait and find that out for yourself?"  
"If I do, maybe they will send you back to--"

The boy didn't have any time to react. Nakai had ran up to him and clocked him straight in the nose. He fell backwards onto the floor and his friends picked him up before running off. Nakai sighed. She flexed her hands, staring at the green blood blooming from her knuckles, then turned to Spock. There was still no emotion on his face.

"Are you okay?"  
"That is irrelevant," he said. "I am not the one who engaged in a fight."  
"Yeah, you're fine..." Nakai said under her breath.  
"That was not necessary."  
"I know. But I see them torment you every day and I got... annoyed."  
"You should not let them influence your emotions," Spock said.  
"I can't help it. It is... harder."

Many of the Vulcans on the planet did not know she was half-Romulan, and she wasn't sure whether this boy knew or not. If he didn't, she preferred to keep it that way.

"You do not have to hide it. My father has told me that you are half-Romulan."

Nakai let out a sigh. She didn't know whether it was relief or annoyance that washed over her.

"Those same boys have tried twenty-eight times to elicit an emotional response from me, but all in vain. It took me a long time to master my emotions, but I have succeeded. If you desire, I can be of assistance."  
"Do you think it'll help me fit in better?"  
"I do not know."

Nakai looked intently at the boy.

"My mother would have liked you," Nakai said simply. "She would have wanted me to accept your help, therefore I will."  
"Good. Then we may work in the skill domes together," he said politely, extending his hand. Nakai nearly chuckled. It was such a human gesture. "I am Spock."  
"And I am Nakai."

* * *

* * *

It was many years later, and it was impossible to recognise Nakai. She had changed physically, for one. She was no longer the small and sickly child that came to Vulcan all those years ago. She was strong now, and tall, well-versed in all the martial arts of the people who had taken her in. She had also changed mentally. While the fear and the hate and the passion were still there, they were very much under control. It seemed to irk Stravik, but Strevek and Laanni could not have been prouder. Nakai only hoped that her mother would feel the same. There was only one issue. Like Spock, Nakai wished to enlist in Starfleet. She had never applied to the Vulcan Science Academy, and never even contemplated attending, unlike Spock, but she had complications of her own. She was Romulan.

"It is out of the question, Nakai," Strevek said. "You cannot enlist in Starfleet."  
"I am sure, _a'nirih_, that if you send a letter of recommendation for me on behalf of the Vulcan High Command that they will see reason," Nakai argued.  
"It is not so simple. These Humans are not as open-minded as us. The second that they see your genetic makeup they will arrest you, and treat you as completely Romulan."  
"Who says that they have to see my genetic makeup?"

Strevek looked at her.

"Are you suggesting lying to the Federation?"  
"I am suggesting a mere... alteration of data," Nakai corrected. "It will do more good than harm. Would I not be a capable Starship Officer?"  
"Yes. You would. But I cannot permit this."  
"I was not asking for your permission, _a'nirih_. I was merely warning you. I have already been accepted as a cadet, and _M'aih_ has already agreed to send Starfleet the documents. Spock has also agreed to aid me in this endeavour."

Strevek looked at Nakai as disapprovingly as a Vulcan could manage. She could sense it.

"Sometimes I wonder if I even managed to suppress _any_ of the Romulan in you."

Nakai looked down at her feet.

"I cannot allow this. You would lie your way into Starfleet?"  
"Yes."  
"But then you have not truly earned the right to be there."

Nakai set her jaw.

"I have only applied. The measure of my worth to Starfleet will be earned as I attend. They need not know the circumstances in which I have come to them. It is irrelevant."  
"And you ask that Spock, Laanni and I take part in this?" Strevek asked.  
"It is the only way, _a'nirih_. Where else would I go?"  
"The Vulcan Science Academy."  
"It is quite difficult to resist laughter when you say things like this," Nakai said. "No one here respects me, _a'nirih_. Not even your son. How do you think I would be treated?"

Strevek said nothing.

"Like a Romulan," Nakai answered. "If I go to Starfleet, and yes, I would get in by lying, no one would see a Romulan. They would see a Vulcan. The Vulcan you raised me to be, _a'nirih_."  
"You are too sentimental for a Vulcan," Strevek said.

Nakai resisted a smile.

"Will you help me?"  
"It goes against every fibre of my being, but I will write the letter on behalf of the Vulcan High Council."

The young Vulcan couldn't help it this time. A small smile broke through her stern facade.

"Thank you, _a'nirih_."

He inclined his head a little in return, and Nakai went out into the hallway to where her friend was waiting for her. The smile on her face was indication enough to Spock that her parents had agreed to her scheme.

"I do not know how you managed to convince them."  
"Sentiment, Spock," Nakai replied honestly. She calmed herself and her stern expression returned. "Now I must see my mother about those tests."  
"Has she decided on how to alter your scans and life signs?"  
"Yes. We have both come to the conclusion that making my life signs more similar to yours would be our best course of action. After all, Humans are the only other _known_ compatible race with Vulcans."  
"Seems wise."  
"After this, I will officially be a Starfleet Cadet. Or at least... potentially."

Spock rose an eyebrow.

"I might have neglected to mention this to my father."  
"That you would have to undergo more testing before being admitted to Starfleet?"  
"Perhaps."  
"And you remain, as Humans would say - impossible."


	3. Starfleet

With her hands clasped behind her back, Nakai watched the sunrise outside her window. The sky was swirling with yellows, oranges and reds, and she gradually felt the sun warm her as it rose. She watched the sun hit the sandy coloured buildings that protruded from the desert. Down in the maze of the buildings, thousands of Vulcan men and women were going about their business already, adorned with cloth that still amazed Nakai even after fourteen years. She could smell Laanni's redspice bread from her room, and it was the only thing that brought Nakai from her room. She would have stayed there for hours, looking over the walls that had been her cocoon for years, but today was her last day home. Starfleet awaited her.

"Did you sleep well?" Laanni asked as Nakai entered the kitchen. 

Strevek was already seated, sipping on what smelled like spiced tea. Stravik was nowhere to be found, and Nakai was pleased about that. 

"Yes, as always," Nakai said. "Is there anything I might do to assist you, _m'aih_?"  
"Not at all, _tal-kam_. It is your last day. Sit, please."

Stravik did not make an appearance for the entire duration of breakfast, and Nakai could not complain. It was nice, for once, to enjoy a meal with her parents without him staring at her. Yes, parents. It had been fourteen years since Nakai had escaped the mines on Remus, and while her biological mother's sacrifice would always be remembered, she could barely recall anything about her; not her face, not her voice. Laanni and Strevek had been the parents who raised her, took care of her and taught her everything that made her the Vulcan she was today. 

A knock on the door brought Nakai out of her dreaming. A little fear rose inside of her, but she choked it down just as soon as it appeared. She rose from her seat, ushering her mother back to her seat, and opened the door. It was Spock. Nakai took a deep breath and nodded once. He didn't need to say why he was here. She invited him in and left him in the kitchen with her parents to fetch her bags upstairs. Spock took them from her when she returned downstairs and said he'd wait in the car outside.

"I suppose this is farewell," Nakai said, turning to her parents.  
"Yes, but it is not forever, _tal-kam_," Laanni said. "We will visit, and so will you."

Nakai's eyes began welling up with tears. She tried blinking them back but to no avail. They slid gently down her face and silently fell to the floor.

"I apologise for my display of emotion, _a'nirih_," Nakai muttered. "I did not expect leaving to be so difficult."  
"I think for today," Strevek said gently, "I can forgive this transgression."

A small choked up cry made its way up to Nakai's mouth, and a few more tears escaped her eyes. She stepped forward to embrace her parents, and they held each other for longer than most Vulcans did. When Nakai took a step back she wiped away her tears and collected herself, then rose her hand in the traditional Vulcan way.

"Live long and prosper."

* * *

* * *

**Iowa, United States of America, Earth, Sector 001**

It was Nakai's first time on Earth, and to her, it was like an alien world. Spock said it was even more so here, as people still rode horses and hundred-year-old cars and owned antique weapons called shotguns. It was dusty and warm, but not the same warmth that she had on Vulcan, and the dust got into places and stuck there like parasites. When the town's tour was over, and the commanding officers directed the cadets back to the shuttle, Nakai was relieved. Leaving the bigger part of the city and going into the countryside was welcome. So was the cleaner air. It stretched before her like a great quilt of golden, brown and green squares held together by the thick stitching of hedgerows. She and the other cadets watched the hills roll like giant waves on a gentle ocean, and she listened in to the sparse conversation going on around her. Everyone seemed to be talking about a local pub.

The cadets were dropped off at base, where the newly commissioned Starship Enterprise had begun construction. It was filled with people of all races and colours, as well as sounds that Nakai wanted to hear for the rest of her life. Most of the cadets filed over to their temporary quarters to get acquainted with their roommates, but Nakai continued to wander until she found Spock, who was speaking with another few of his fellow officers.

"Cadet," he greeted as she passed.  
"Commander," she returned politely.

Nakai was about to continue wandering when someone else spoke.

"Another Vulcan? Starfleet is spoiling us."  
"What's your major Cadet?"  
"Security and Tactics," Nakai answered, turning back to face Spock's company. "As well as Multidisciplinary Physics and Probability Mechanics, sir."  
"Ambitious, ambitious. Think you can handle it, Cadet?"  
"I am Vulcan, sir. If there was an option for more classes, I would have taken it."

The two men laughed.

"She's confident, all right."  
"Yes. Though, Security and Tactics is an odd choice for a Vulcan, don't you think?"  
"Not at all, sir," Nakai said, a little confused. "Vulcans have superior reflexes and strength than of humans. It is only natural for me to seek a career in which I can excel. Of course, I do understand your reasoning. It is a more common assumption that Vulcans will join the Sciences division like Commander Spock."  
"Well, I'll be - she's got snark, too."  
"If you'll excuse me." Nakai lightly inclined her head to both men, then to her friend. "Commander Spock."  
"That area will soon be off-limits, Cadet," Spock said, as Nakai resumed her wandering.  
"Then maybe I will go to this... pub the other cadets have spoken of."

Spock rose and eyebrow.

"For what purpose?"  
"Cultural studies, I suppose."

* * *

* * *

The bar was hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, each one trying to compete with the equally loud rock music that dominated the atmosphere. Nakai hadn't planned on going to this dive bar initially, but maybe she could learn something about inebriated humans while she was here. Perhaps find a little entertainment as well. The crowd was young, much like herself, composed of students from nearby and the rest of the new recruits heading up to the testing area tomorrow. The smoke above her head twisted in its artistic way, forming curls in the gloom, illuminated only by the age-speckled bar lights. Along the walls was every hue of amber liquid in their inverted bottles, liquids that the Vulcan teachings of Surak told her she wasn't permitted to enjoy. She winded her way through the warm bodies and to the bar - the dark local beer seemed to be a favourite, looking around the room. 

As she approached the bar, the bartender asked if she wanted a drink. Nakai hesitated for a moment.

"She'll take a redspice tea. On me."

The bartender nodded and began busying himself. Nakai turned to the stranger beside her. He was clearly a local, and clearly a proud one at that. Nakai rose an eyebrow at him. He didn't seem deterred at all. When the tea arrived she thanked the bartender and went to pay him, but the stranger tossed money at him instead.

"Told you: it's on me."  
"I appreciate the gesture, but I am fully capable of purchasing my own beverages."

Nakai took a sip of her tea. It was good, but could never compare to her mother's.

"It's weird seeing a Vulcan let loose."  
"Let loose? Need I remind you that this is tea?"  
"Then order a proper drink," the man said with a smile. "Again, it's on me."  
"I'm afraid all that would allow me to 'let loose' is illegal."

The man let out a small laugh.

"Wow, a Vulcan that jokes. Am I really this drunk?"  
"It is safe to say that you are, sir."  
"Did you just-- sir? Sir?!"

Nakai rose an eyebrow at him, amused. Humans and their age...

"The name's Kirk. Jim. Jim Kirk. That's me."  
"I am Nakai. I'm afraid even sober my full name would be unpronounceable to you."

Jim made a noise that suggested he didn't believe her. Instead, he quickly looked her up and down.

"So, Cadet - what's your major?"  
"Security and Tactical Command," Nakai answered, sipping the last of her tea. "That and Multidisciplinary Physics and Probability Mechanics."  
"Triple major - that's ambitious. Think you can handle it?" Kirk asked.  
"That is the second time someone has asked me that today. Is it an inherent feature in men to doubt the capabilities of a Vulcan woman?"  
"Not me. I was wondering why you weren't taking on more."  
"They would not let me."

Kirk laughed and knocked back his drink. He was about to speak again when something caught his eye. He excused himself and went over to another woman. Nakai shook her head. If he thought Nakai was hard to get close to, then Cadet Uhura wouldn't be better. While Nakai was a cold wall, Uhura was fire. She'd burn him quicker than he could woo her. She thanked the bartender for the tea again, and went to leave, but just as she stood, a cadet flew straight to her feet.

With a long sigh, Nakai pulled up the cadet and sat him on a stool. When she turned, another cadet was flying straight at her. She swerved out of the way and let the cadet crash into the other. On the other side of the bar, Kirk was fighting off a third cadet and was clearly losing. He got hauled over the cadet's shoulder and thrown across the room, once again, at Nakai's feet. He looked up and smiled, to which Nakai replied with a legendary Vulcan eye-roll. She helped him up, dusted him off, and shoved him behind her as the other cadet ran at her.

"All right, super-strong Vulcan on my side."

She held up her hand and he stopped flat. Nakai nodded over to the door, and when the cadet looked over, she swiped her fist at him. When it collided, he fell several feet away and onto the ground. The two other stunned cadets came at her, and as she tossed them over her shoulder, a loud whistle sounded. The second cadet she was throwing was dropped immediately and fell directly onto Kirk. Both of them fell with a thump, but Nakai was too busy saluting to concern herself with them. Christopher Pike had entered the bar, and he did not look pleased.

"Outside. All of you. Now."

Nakai nodded and went to follow everyone outside, but she hesitated for a moment. Instead, she turned around helped Kirk to his feet once again. Her eyebrows twitched, a small indication of a forming frown; his nose was all bloody and his left eye swollen. 

"Kirk, are you all right?"  
"Yeah, just peachy."  
"Cadet," Pike repeated from beside Nakai.  
"Yes, sir."

Nakai shot Kirk one last glanced before exiting the bar herself. She hoped that Captain Pike wouldn't be too harsh on him. However, to Nakai's surprise, she saw Kirk the next morning at dawn. As Nakai was on her way to Starfleet's entrance exam, Jim Kirk came waltzing to her side, winking at the cadets who'd beat him up the night prior.

"Morning, Cadet," he said jokingly.  
"You have enlisted in Starfleet?" Nakai asked, genuinely surprised. "You did not strike me as that sort of man."  
"Pike dared me to do it."  
"Now that I can believe."


	4. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All translations of alien languages will be at the bottom for this and all future chapters :)

**Starfleet Base, Iowa**

"It's six weeks straight?"  
"Precisely."  
"That's our entire summer! The hell are we going to be doing?"  
"It is approximately five weeks of preparation for four days of examination, during which time we will be tested for stress reaction, spatial orientation and deductive reasoning."  
"Sounds like a party."  
"Then you and I surely have different definitions of the word 'party'."

It was under the brilliant sun that Nakai and Jim Kirk made their way towards Starfleet's base, but they wouldn't be seeing much of it for the rest of the summer. Starfleet's requirements for acceptance were strict, and for the next six weeks, all new applicants had to undergo rigorous preparation and testing in order to even be permitted to take the entrance exam, to screen out anyone who would never even dream of passing it. Nakai had no worry that she would succeed, but she worried for Kirk. So far, he hadn't seemed like the most studious of people, nor did he seem serious enough to even try hard to succeed, and even though she'd only known the troublemaker for a few days, Nakai would be lying if she said she wouldn't be disappointed if she had to be separated from him. His humour and nonchalant attitude were quite amusing.

Throughout the weeks, there were just as many scheduled tests as there were surprise ones, and so far both Nakai and Kirk were doing well. They did well on hyperspace physics and dynamic relations testing, as well as scenarios of command and tactical situations. Jim had a tendency to do things his own way, which Nakai would sometimes qualify as cheating, but they both proved to be good in testing and they remained together until the end of their testing. When the four days of testing arrived, they were separated. Initially, Nakai and Kirk were both disappointed. However, Nakai was pleased in the end, for the examiners had told her that only one person per testing group would be able to go on to take the Academy Entrance Exam. 

For now, she and Jim had a chance to make it together. 

The initial tests were simple enough. She was being tested on areas of her applied majors, as well as a few other topics that interrelated with Tactics and Security. Nakai went through tactical analysis and basic tactical training quite easily, and the operations, makeup and functions of weapons, both from Starfleet and other cultures, was a favourite area of study. Probability Mechanics stimulated her mind in and out of testing situations, mostly on her free time, much to Jim's chagrin. He preferred going out to the bar they met at, have a few drinks and, as Nakai suspected, get into more trouble.

There was one test, however, that made Nakai feel illogically anxious. It was the final test, and according to Nakai's superior officers and instructors, it could happen at any moment of the fourth day of examination. The famously dreaded Starfleet Psychological Test was nearly a fable, with dozens and dozens of accounts of applicants losing their resolve or experiencing their worst fears. Nakai was not eager to go through either situation.

"You seem nervous," Kirk asked, as he and Nakai were wandering the halls.  
"I cannot _be_ nervous, Jim," Nakai said. "I am Vulcan. Those kinds of emotions are--"  
"Suppressed, I know. Still. I know what I'm seeing."  
"Jim, that--"

Nakai had turned to face Kirk, but when she did he was nowhere to be found, vanished from thin air. 

"Jim? I hope that this is not another of your practical jokes," she said aloud. "This is hardly humorous."

The Vulcan's eyebrows furrowed. The halls were silent, there was no one in close proximity to her. When she took a few steps forward to examine her surroundings, Nakai's name was called over the Base's intercom.

"Cadet Nakai to the main office, please. Cadet Nakai to the main office."  
"Curious," Nakai muttered to herself. "Quite curious."

Nakai's curiosity led her to the Base's main office. The blinds had been closed, all other chairs were pushed against the walls and the only exit seemed to be the one she came through. Two bodies lay inert on the ground. Nakai checked their pulses immediately - there was no heartbeat. She rose and looked over to the main desk. Someone was sitting in that chair, turned away from the entrance to hide his face. If anything were to happen, Nakai would most likely have the disadvantage. Curiosity was soon replaced with anxiousness, or at least enough of it for the Vulcan to notice and attempt to suppress it. Nakai did not like that she could not see the person who had called her to the main office.

"Cadet Nakai reporting to the main office, Sir," she said, taking another few steps into the room.  
"_Aefvadh Eredh_."

Nakai's breath hitched in her throat. 

"Pardon?"   
"_Au daevirel Rihannha hhaonn _?"  
"No," she said sternly, yet barely above a whisper. "I have not forgotten the tongue of those who enslaved me."

From behind the chair came a laugh that worried Nakai even more, and it was taking more and more effort to keep her emotions in check. 

"Is that how you would treat me, _paenhe_?"  
"I am not your, _paenhe_," Nakai said through gritted teeth. "And I have no desire to remain in your presence."  
"Not even to hear about Vrisrix... or your mother?"

The hands that were gently held behind swung over to the front. Nakai clasped them together, quite tightly. She could hear her heart beating in her abdomen. However, she was distracted and intrigued by the man's reluctance to show himself.

"I will not listen to a man whose face I cannot see, nor will I accept any information from an unreliable source such as yourself," Nakai said sternly. "We are done here."  
"_Sthea'hwill aehfvi _!"  
"I will not comply."  
"_Vang'radam _!"  
"I am no traitor," Nakai stated. "Had I believed this charade, I would have been. A traitor to the Federation. You are nothing but a voice, a fragment of the horrors in my childhood."

Nakai's body relaxed when the voice did not respond. The lights came back on and the chair behind the main desk swivelled around to reveal a man in Starfleet uniform. He rose and walked out of the room, as did the two seemingly deceased officers that were on the ground. Nakai followed and was met with a few other officers upon her exit, including Kirk.

"Congratulations, Cadet."  
"That was the test," Nakai noted. One of her eyebrows rose. "It was not as dreadful as other Cadets make it seem."  
"You only say that because you passed," the superior officer said. "You and Cadet Kirk will be free to take the Starfleet Entrance Exam next week. I suggest you prepare."

With a pointed look at Kirk, the other officers left. Jim clapped Nakai on the back and smiled.

"All right, Kai! We're going to Starfleet together!"  
"We need to pass the Entrance Exam first, Jim," Nakai said. She too gave Kirk a pointed look and walked away. "And do not call me Kai. It is not my name."  
"Dude, it's a nickname. Come on, means I like you."  
"Very well," Nakai said with a sigh. "But do not give me any other unsavoury nicknames. I am well aware of the name you have given Cadet Wilson."  
"He loves the name Willy."  
"Doubtful."

* * *

* * *

The leaves of the trees in the Testing Facility's gardens had their first autumnal blush, and though the sidewalks were wet from last night's rain the clear blue sky above promised no more. In an hour or so, the paths would be dry and the leaves would spring up, their water weight gone. But Nakai would not be there to enjoy it, as Starfleet's Entrance Exam would be in progress. She had forced Jim through a week's worth of study and heard more complaining than she'd ever heard in her lifetime, but Nakai knew he'd end up thanking her. Or at least, she hoped. 

"We're going to nail this," he said as they both walked down to the Testing Facility. Many other Cadets were heading in the same direction, each one of them clad in their red uniforms. "Well, at least I'm going to nail this."  
"You're doubting me?" Nakai asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jim smiled and winked. With a roll of her eyes, Nakai walked ahead, and a chuckling Jim followed her into the facility. Everyone would be taking the exam together, in spite of different majors, and due to the number of applicants, a lot of the Cadets needed to wait until an examination room was empty for the next round of testing to occur. Jim and Nakai were part of the slew of Cadets waiting to be tested. 

The silence in the room was almost oppressive, and Jim was finding it hard to sit still. Instead, he roamed around the room, looking around at people - more specifically the women. After all of Nakai's nagging and multiple rejections, you would have thought he'd have learned this was a horrible way to pick up women. 

Nakai shook her head disapprovingly and sank back into her seat. She picked up a physics journal from the small table beside her and began reading, subtly keeping an eye on her friend until he came back. He dropped down into his chair, a cocky smile on his face.

"It worked. Proved you wrong."  
"It serves no purpose to prove me wrong, Jim," Nakai said, turning a page in the science journal.  
"I know, it's just fun."

A loud noise brought Nakai from her reading and Jim from his prowling. A room was being cleared, and one of the applicants coming out didn't seem too pleased. He seemed older than most applicants, who were around Nakai's age, and also quite annoyed.

"I don't need a doctor, dammit! I _am_ a doctor!" he said, crossing the room in a huff. A few security officers were walking beside him. "And I'm telling you, that woman didn't bite me hard enough to require medical treatme-- would you quit it!?"

Nakai watched as he disappeared through the doors at the end of the room, an eyebrow raised, and then the rest of the Cadets file out behind him. She shot a glance at Jim, who looked mildly amused.

"I don't know who he is, but I like him. Seems fun."  
"I do not know if fun is the appropriate word, Jim," Nakai said, tossing the journal back onto the table.  
"Testing room number five is available for the next group of Cadets!"

Nakai and Jim waited for their names to be called and then proceeded to the exam room. They were seated in rows in front of small screens and without much space in between. This explained the numerous officers lining the walls, most likely there to spot anyone attempting to cheat. Nakai found them unnecessary, surely they weren't going to put two students of the same major right next to each other. 

It seemed that the seat choice was free to be chosen, so Jim and Nakai sat beside each other and waited for the others to do the same. The official test supervisor then gave a few instructions and quite a few strict rules, then announced that the candidates had two hours to complete the test. 

"Good luck," Jim whispered.  
"Thank you, but I do not need luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Romulan translations:  
Aefvadh Eredh: Welcome, Cadet.  
Au daevirel Rihannha hhaonn: Have you forgotten the Romulan tongue?  
paenhe: daughter  
Sthea'hwill aehfvi: You will comply!  
Vang'radam: Traitor


	5. Admiral Adversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry for being away for so long! I could give you guys a bunch of excuses, but I'm pretty sure you don't give a shit - so here's the new chapter and I hope you enjoy it! :)

Hours had gone by and Nakai was still no closer to finishing the Starfleet Entrance Exam. Some questions had been easy to answer, but most of them required a fair amount of reasoning or calculations and even though she was Vulcan, Nakai was having issues. Biomechanics hadn't been an area of particular interest nor study - and yet the past three questions had been on that topic. She couldn't possibly imagine how the others were fairing, especially Jim beside her. He looked very focused but he didn't seem to be answering anything which concerned her. Hopefully, he would be able to make it through the exam at least. It wasn't until another hour had passed that Nakai could ask him about it, just like every other cadet exiting the examination room. Chatter filled the halls, as did a few frantic cries of despair, and from what Nakai could hear, most people found the exam quite challenging.

"Well, that was painful," Jim stated.  
"I do admit that certain aspects of the exam required more attention than others," Nakai said.  
"Is that your way of saying it was hard?"  
"It is my way of saying I expected it to be quicker."

Jim chuckled.

"Well, now we've got the rest of the day off!" he said excitedly. "Come on - I gotta take you to the pub."  
"Jim--"  
"It's to celebrate! Don't Vulcans celebrate?"  
"Yes. By quietly meditating and contemplating why we have reached success."

Jim rolled his eyes and grabbed Nakai by the wrist. She would have resisted, but it felt wrong to deny him a celebration after he successfully completed an atrocious exam, especially one that she herself found somewhat difficult. Therefore, she let Jim drag her all the way to the bustling confines of the Warp Trail bar. They moved to the bar as easily as the smoke, taking in the laughter and the smiles, the dancing couples and friends, and the loud music that kept a solid beat.

"Give me your strongest alcohol," Jim declared once at the bar. The bartender rose his eyebrow at him. "It's not for me it's for her."  
"Jim, I do not drink," Nakai said with a sigh.  
"You don't drink by choice, not because of your culture."  
"Yes. Most Vulcans don't drink because we are spared the dubious effects of alcohol," Nakai said, sitting down at the bar. "Even if I wanted to drink, I cannot be drunk. Therefore, I cannot find any logical reason to drink it when I cannot experience its sole purpose."

Jim turned to the bartender and gave him a look. He sighed and left for a moment, returning with two bottles that Nakai couldn't see through. She raised an eyebrow as the bartender uncorked the first one, and poured her a small glass of a ruby red liquid.

"Tell me if you can feel this," Jim said, handing her the small drink.  
"With this small a quantity, I doubt it," Nakai said almost disdainfully.

The bartender laughed and pulled out a bigger glass, and tipped the first one inside, then filled it up halfway.

"This better?" he said.  
"I do not know. I have never had Klingon Bloodwine before."  
"Come on, Kai - do it!" Jim said, pulling out a small Starfleet issue PADD. "I need to record this momentous event in history."  
"You are a child," Nakai said with a sigh.

Jim disregarded her remark and turned on the video recorder, staring at her with an eager smile. Nakai rolled her eyes and brought the drink to her lips. The acrid smell of the alcohol went straight to her nose, and the burn was felt all the way down her throat, but she felt no effects after one sip and Klingon Bloodwine was notoriously strong. Against her better judgement, Nakai downed the entire drink, and while the alcohol burned immensely, it was a sensation that she could get used to. 

"And?" Jim asked.

Nakai turned to the camera, stoic.

"Nothing."  
"Damn it. Ben, do the other one."

Ben, who had someone gotten quite invested in this little experiment, eagerly brought out the other bottle and poured a small amount of bright blue liquid. Nakai knew immediately what it was. Not only was the blue colour quite distinct, but she remembered seeing it in the hands of the officers back on Romulus who'd drink it just prove that they could. If there was one thing that Nakai knew could get her inebriated, it was this.

"I am not drinking this."  
"'Cause it's illegal? Come on, Kai--"  
"I am not drinking that, Jim," Nakai said calmly, coming to a stand. "Thank you, Ben, for putting up with him. I apologise for wasting your time and your liquor."

Nakai turned and left, and walked through the smoke and the haze until she found the fresh evening air. She sighed loudly and ran her hands down her face. The Vulcan composed herself again when Jim emerged as well.

"You all right?"  
"Yes, I am quite all right, Jim," Nakai said rather impatiently.  
"Dude, why're you so snappy?" Jim asked, standing in front of the Vulcan. "You're always going on about controlling your emotions or whatever--"  
"It was the Romulan Ale."

Jim gave her a confused look. She sighed and pulled him aside in the alley beside the bar.

"I did not always live on Vulcan," Nakai said quietly. "Before my escape, I lived in a mining colony on Remus."  
"Oh, shit - did I just--"  
"Jim, you did not know. It was illogical of me to react in such a manner."  
"No, but Kai, come on!" Jim said, a little frantic. "You were-- I mean, you know--"  
"The word you are refusing to use is slave," Nakai stated.

He sighed and gently grabbed Nakai by the shoulders.

"I'm sorry."  
"Fascinating," Nakai said, looking directly at Jim's face. "You are capable of apologising."

Jim groaned and rolled his eyes, and released his hold on Nakai.

"Vulcans..." he sighed. "Are you good, though?"  
"Yes, do not worry."  
"Good. Because we're still celebrating."  
"I think not."

Both friends turned to their left. Someone was walking down into the alley. Nakai didn't know who they were, but by their rank insignias, she could tell they were a Commander of some kind. Nakai saluted immediately, and Jim lazily followed.

"Cadet Nakai, please follow me."  
"Might I inquire as to why?"  
"The Academy advisor would like to speak with you."  
"Why?" Jim asked, getting defensive.  
"It's nothing that concerns you, Cader Kirk," the man said.   
"It is a valid question," Nakai said. "I do not see why the Advisor would wish to speak to me after hours."

The Commander looked annoyed.

"All I am permitted to say here is that it concerns your family."

Nakai stiffened. They couldn't possibly have found out about her transgression. She had made sure of that.

"Very well," Nakai said. "Jim, I will see you tomorrow. Do not celebrate too much."  
"Yeah, sure."

The Vulcan appreciated the concern on Jim's face, but she wished that he didn't worry. More than that, she wished that he wouldn't follow and eavesdrop. If there was one thing that Nakai wanted no one to know, was the fact that she wasn't half-Human, but half-Romulan - especially Jim Kirk, considering he was her only friend aside from Spock. 

Nakai followed the Commander down the road and through the grounds of the training facility until they made into the Academic advisor's office. He exited as soon as he'd gotten there, leaving Nakai alone with not just the Academic advisor, but a few other Starfleet officers and Admirals which included the Head of Starfleet himself, Admiral Alexander Marcus.

"Cadet Nakai, yes?" Admiral Marcus asked.  
"Yes, sir," Nakai said, saluting.  
"At ease, Cadet. Please, sit."

Nakai relaxed herself and sat down in front of all the personnel. If she were human, this would be making her nervous. However, this was making her irritated. She was being treated nicer than she normally would be in a situation like this. 

"How are you finding all these exams?"  
"Not much more difficult than I expected them to be," Nakai said. "I am eager to receive my results next week."  
"Good, good..." the Admiral said absently. He looked over on a nearby screen. "Look, Cadet, I'm going to cut to the chase here. I'm sure, as a Vulcan, you'd appreciate it if I didn't waste your time."

Nakai would have said yes to anyone else other than him. She knew better.

"I'm concerned about the documents you used to apply to Starfleet."  
"How so?"  
"We've encountered the same problem a few years ago when Commander Spock applied to Starfleet," Admiral Marcus said. "You've sent your own medical documents, which he did as well, and again we're having issues with the registration of your life signs."  
"Have you compared them to the scans of Commander Spock?" Nakai asked.  
"No, we haven't."  
"Might I suggest doing so? Surely, you will find answers to your uncertainties there."

A few members in the room hummed in agreement, but it didn't seem to affect Admiral Marcus at all.

"I'd like to ask you to retake your medical tests at the Academy."

Nakai looked from the others to Admiral Marcus, and though her expression hadn't changed she was panicking on the inside. For some reason, he knew. Nakai had changed her vital signs to register just like Spock's, with a few variables off just to distinguish them as two separate people. It was technically impossible for him to know what she'd done. They couldn't even search for tampering - the Vulcan Science Council sent the data themselves. Nakai had completely thought this through, and she would be damned if she thought a simple Human could dupe a Vulcan.

"Do you doubt the legitimacy of the Vulcan Science Council's data?" Nakai asked, feigning offence.   
"No, I don't," Admiral Marcus said, looking defensive.  
"Then why is it you ask that I retake the tests?"

Admiral Marcus sighed. 

"Very well. We will compare your vital scans to those of Commander Spock's," he said. "Should we have any other questions you will be available for testing."  
"Admiral, forgive me, but it sounds as though you are implying that the Vulcan Science Council has sent you false data."

Immediately, the faces of all the officials went from calm to nervous; implying that a large government body of the United Federation of Planets was lying was an offence that usually started wars, or at least caused severe tensions between nations. Marcus' face remained unchanged, but Nakai could tell by the look in his eyes that he'd reached a wall.

"I apologise, Cadet," the Admiral said. "I meant no offence."  
"There was none taken, Admiral," Nakai said.   
"Should we need additional information we will contact you and then decide how to proceed. Dismissed."

Nakai nodded once and saluted, then exited the office. She walked quickly, wanting nothing more than to be as far away from that office as possible. Halfway down the corridor, she paused and her legs gave out. She quickly caught herself though and toppled sideways instead and onto the wall. Nakai heaved out a sigh and slid down the wall, resting down in a crouching position. It seemed that she had been affected more than she'd like to admit. Her heart was beating fast in her abdomen, faster than it ever had in a very long time. 

"Get up, Nakai," she whispered to herself. "Get up."

Nakai stood, a harsh sigh coming out through her nose. She was annoyed with herself for succumbing to her emotions so much, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. Instead, she focused on keeping her calm like she used to and suppressed the fear and the anger that bubbled up in the face of the Admiral.

One thing was for sure, Nakai wasn't expecting to develop an adversary this quickly into her journey through Starfleet - especially with the head of Starfleet himself.


	6. Beginning

"Kai! Kai! Kai!"  
"Jim, what are you doing in my dorm room?"  
"Dude, we made it!"  
"Jim, it is currently six in the morning, why are you awake?"  
"Hacking into the Academy's records."  
"James Tiberius Kirk."  
"Oh, come on, don't middle name me! We're in! We passed the exam!"

Nakai rolled over, tangled in her blankets. She stared at Jim for a moment, before abruptly sitting up in bed. Her hair was a mess, half tangled in itself and in her ears, and she could barely see through it. Disregarding her less than decent attire, she pushed her hair out of her face and stood, rushing over to Jim to pull the PADD out of his hands.

"That's a look," Jim said, looking Nakai up and down.  
"Under normal circumstances, I'd reprimand you for hacking--"  
"Bribing, actually. There was this really cute office--"  
"I do not want to know," Nakai interrupted, still focused on the PADD. "Fascinating. You got a higher scored than I expected. Of course, I obtained a near-perfect score."  
"Okay, rude," Jim said, walking around the room. He picked up a pillow on Nakai's bed and tossed it at her. "Come on, Whiz Kid, get dressed - we've got to register for the flight tomorrow."  
"Do not call me a _Whiz Kid_."  
"Get your scrawny ass into some pants and let's go!" Jim called as he exited the room.

Nakai rose an eyebrow at him. She turned towards her mirror and checked herself out.

"Who is he calling scrawny?"

* * *

**Riverside Shipyard, Iowa**

The world was as silent. The sun was still resolutely below the horizon and the street was dark, only lit by the occasional street lamp of an old town. The sound of Jim Kirk's motorcycle was the only thing Nakai could hear, but it was pleasant, especially considering that it was the sound of them travelling to the shuttles that'd take them to Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. Nakai held on tight to Jim, hair whipping backwards like a cloud of black smoke, and staring at the Riverside Shipyard in the distance. In this light, the construction of Starfleet's new flagship looked even more impressive.

By the time that they'd reached the shipyard, the sun had begun rising. Hues of lavender and vermillion painted the sky, and as the sounds of Jim's motorcycle died down, the sounds of people began to rise. He parked his bike in some random spot and tossed the keys to a man who'd complimented his ride, and the two friends walked through the shipyard all the way to the shuttles. Despite her outward appearance, Nakai was energized - excited. The buzzing sounds of chatter and laughter of the future of Starfleet lit up her mind, and it took a lot of self-control not to smile.

"You look like you're about to burst," Jim commented, giving Nakai a fond look.  
"I am not about to burst, Jim," Nakai said with a small sigh. "I am simply... pleased."  
"Yeah, sure."

He knowingly looked at his friend and she offered him nothing but an unimpressed glance. They both made their way to the shuttles, conversing with a few friends along the way. Nakai logged herself and Jim into the flight manifest while he was flirting with some woman again, until Nakai forcefully dragged Jim away towards the shuttles. 

"Oh, come on, Kai--"  
"Nakai. _Na_. You are missing a syllable."  
"--the women love me, and you're depriving them of me."  
"Is this humour?"  
"You know exactly what humour is," Jim said. "Besides, you can't say that I'm not a fine specimen."  
"You are not a fine specimen," Nakai stated flatly. "As you can see, I am fully capable."

Jim playfully smacked Nakai on the arm and pulled a face at her.

"You are childish."  
"And _you_ are no fun."  
"I am plenty of fun."  
"Last time I told you to go out and have fun, you went to the library and studied how to calculate the expansion of black holes and its gravitational acceleration!"  
"I wouldn't expect more from a Vulcan, Kirk."

Nakai and Jim turned to the voice. It was an Andorian cadet, something just as rare as a Vulcan in the Academy. Though Nakai didn't understand why he felt the need to call her out personally, it was widely known that the Andorians and the Vulcans have shared a tumultuous history. Maybe it was because of this that he felt the need to disturb her. 

"What is your name, cadet?" Nakai asked.  
"Eshevaas Th'zhehret," he said proudly.  
"Well, cadet Th'zhehret, I do not think I need to remind you that the Andorian Empire and the Vulcans have been at peace for centuries. Behaviour like this reflects poorly on your people and the peace they have achieved."  
"I'm not starting a war here, Vulcan. I'm just saying - you're too stuck up."  
"The control of emotion is a part of my culture. Of course, you would not know that. Andorians do not have the capacity to control themselves."  
"I've got plenty of control!" Th'zhehret shouted.

Nakai rose and eyebrow.

"Lying to yourself will not do you any good."  
"Why you little--"

Th'zhehret took a step forward, swinging his fist upwards. However, he could never land a punch as Kirk barred him passage and dragged him away.

"All right, kids - party's over. Th'zhehret, get outta here," he said. 

Th'zhehret glared at Nakai and then marched off. Jim turned to her with a light smile.

"Couldn't you have been a little meaner?"  
"Meaner? Just because the Andorian was impolite, does not mean that I should stoop that low as well, Jim."  
"Ouch," he laughed. "You sure you're not just a really mean human with glued on ears?"  
"I am quite sure, Jim."

Nakai looked from her friend to the shuttles ahead. She almost sighed but stopped herself. Sometimes she did wish she was just like Spock, half-Human rather than half-Romulan. The Andorian knew nothing. Nakai had plenty of emotions, and even today, after twenty years of learning to control them, she still had trouble keeping them in check at times. Especially the anger.

After the altercation with the Andorian, Jim and Nakai made their way towards the shuttles. They checked with the flight officers and got their shuttle number, then proceeded to find shuttle number 42 in a sea of a hundred shuttles. It took a short while, but eventually, the shuttle was found. Jim banged his head on the low clearance beams inside the shuttle a few times, which made everyone nearby laugh. However, with one stern glance at each of them, Nakai made them stop.

They took their seats near cadet Uhura, who gave Jim a playfully annoyed smile. He still annoyed her since their first encounter, but Uhura had grown to at least respect the man. The other four cadets that he and Nakai had gotten into a fight with were seated nearby as well, and Jim made a few playful jabs at them before Nakai insisted he not antagonise them any further. She didn't want to get into another fight with them.

"All right, this is it, Kai!" Jim said, smiling.  
"For a man who did not want anything to do with Starfleet a few months ago, you seem rather excited," Nakai said, looking at her friend with a raised eyebrow.  
"Hey, I'm only excited to prove Pike wrong, remember? And you - you seem rather unimpressed, as usual."  
"On the contrary, I do not think that I have ever been happier. Starfleet was always my only choice of career."  
"Not even the Vulcan Science Academy?" Jim asked.  
"They are far too... _stuck up_."

Jim laughed loudly. Nakai allowed herself a small smirk and sat back. Soon, the announcements in the shuttle began and halfway through the safety announcements, Nakai heard a loud noise to her left. Her head turned on instinct, and Jim's eyes followed.

"What is it?"  
"Someone is not happy."

As if on cue, a flight officer rushes out of the bathroom accompanied by a man. They were shouting at each other, and Nakai couldn't mistake that voice for anyone else even though she'd only heard it once.

"You need a doctor."  
"I keep telling you people - I don't need a doctor, damn it, _I am_ a doctor!"  
"You need to get back to your seat."  
"I had one - in the bathroom with no windows!"

Nakai raised an eyebrow at the man as he came into view. He was rather tall, with dark hair, and now that she was paying more attention, she could hear a small southern American accent in his voice. 

The flight attendant and the man stopped in front of Jim and Nakai, who shared a look. Jim seemed amused.

"You need to get back to your seat now."  
"I suffer from aviophobia - that means the fear of dying in something that flies."  
"Sir, for your own safety, sit down or I'll make you sit down!"

The man groaned and sighed, eventually relenting in taking the seat beside Nakai.

"I may throw up on ya," the man grumbled, buckling himself in.  
"That scenario is unlikely. These shuttlecraft are designed with every safety precaution," Nakai said, eyes focused on the man. She averted her gaze when he turned to her.  
"Don't pander to me, you pointy-eared genius. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. A solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. And wait until you're sittin' pretty with a case of Andorian shingles - see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped up in darkness and silence."  
"I regret to inform you that Starfleet operates in space."  
"Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce."  
"That is illogical."

The man rolled his eyes and pulled out a flask, taking a swig of it. He looked over to Nakai and offered her his flask. She politely declined, but Jim, who'd been staring in amusement all along, reached out and took a sip.

"All I got left is my bones."

Jim introduced himself as he returned the flask.

"McCoy. Leonard McCoy."  
"And I am Nakai."

The captain announced the flight's departure, and a few seconds later they were taking off. Nakai looked through the window ahead of her, watching at the golden fields of Iowa turned into darkness filled with sparkling stars.

Finally, her life had begun.


	7. Three Years Later

** Starfleet Academy, San Francisco **

There was stillness on both sides. If tension was visible the air would have been opaque with colour. Then suddenly, there was movement, so much force in every blow. Nakai rained blows onto her opponent as if she meant to smash him into the very earth below them. He tried to counter, to dodge, to block, but nothing was working against the over-trained Vulcan. The crowd of cadets watched on, amazed and confused, wondering how a Vulcan could fight so precisely yet so savagely. Nakai knew how it looked. It looked wrong. The calm and composed Vulcan inside of her knew it, but once she got into the ring there was noting telling her that. The Romulan neurons were firing, and her fists and legs followed through, going through her opponent's defences like they weren't even there until he was flat on his back and the whistle sounded.

"Good work, Cadet Nakai," the instructor said.

Nakai nodded respectfully and watched her opponent stand.

"As for you, Cadet Johnson, better luck next time."

Johnson glared at Nakai before jumping out of the ring. The instructor called for another challenger to defeat Nakai, but just as Cadet O'Brian cockily rose his arm, a flag officer walked into the room and spoke with the instructor. He handed something to him and left.

"All right, hit the showers, everyone. Cadet Nakai, a word."

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. She jumped down from the ring and went over to her instructor. He handed her a PADD and congratulated her on her work today, then exited the room, rallying up the last stragglers of the class. Nakai pressed a few things on the screen and read what was there, and nearly tossed the PADD across the room. It was the Academic Board again, demanding that she retake her medical tests. For the fifth time in the three years that she was at the Academy, Nakai wrote back asking whether they'd compared her medical file to Spock's and if they were really insinuating that the Vulcan Science Council was lying. So far, that had worked in keeping them at bay, and Nakai would keep doing it until it stopped.

* * *

The day was postcard-perfect, even the buses were running on time for once. Downtown the skyscrapers shone silver in the afternoon sun and the sky was an unbroken backdrop of blue. Students on the grounds of Starfleet Academy walked like shoals of fish in a myriad of directions, every single one of them a drop of red over a green sea of grass. Nakai would smile if she were human, but even if she was, she'd be too busy being concerned with the wry smile on Jim Kirk's face. McCoy, Jim and herself were all walking amongst the other students on their way to their next classes.

After three years together, McCoy, Jim and Nakai had become very close friends. They spent most of their free time together, unless Jim was out doing _things_ with a woman, and even had a few classes together. The biggest accomplishment came from McCoy who'd managed to warm up to the cold Vulcan Jim was friends with. Much like Jim, he'd found that through all the calculating looks and statistical facts, Nakai was quite _human_ for a Vulcan. He'd even managed to get the nickname Kai to stick for him alone, much to Jim's chagrin. Though, he'd found a nickname for the doctor in return, so they were even.

"Why are _you_ so happy?" McCoy asked Jim, looking concerned.  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim said cheerfully.  
"Of course not," Nakai said flatly.  
"I'm taking the test again."  
"You've gotta be kidding?" McCoy said, sounding rather annoyed.  
"Yeah, tomorrow morning, and I want you two to be there."  
"Jim, McCoy and I have better things to do than watch you make a fool of yourself again," Nakai said, sounding almost irritated as well. "I have tournaments on a regular basis, and McCoy is a doctor."  
"Yeah, that means we're both busy. And this is the third time you're taking the damn test."  
"Bones, Kai," Jim began.  
"Do not call me that," McCoy and Nakai said simultaneously.

Jim rolled his eyes and sighed. He walked ahead of his friends and stopped them, forcing McCoy and Nakai to properly listen to him and his request.

"Doesn't it bother you that no one's passed the test?"  
"Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru - no one passes the test. Not even Kai."  
"Only because I suspect it was designed that way," Nakai defended, putting her arms behind her back. "And it is only you that has gone back for seconds... and thirds."

Jim sighed, and clapped both his friends on the shoulder.

"I gotta study."  
"Study, my ass," McCoy grumbled as Jim walked away. "Whatever. Where were we going, Kai?"  
"Xenobiology. We have only twelve minutes remaining before we are late."  
"Great."

* * *

Everyone was in position, and everyone except for James T. Kirk would have rather been doing something else than this test again. McCoy was at the science station and Nakai was at tactical, while a very annoyed Uhura was at the communications station, glaring a hole into the back of Jim's head. Nakai couldn't blame her. She had to miss a tournament against Johnson again to be here, and honestly, she would have preferred beating him again to failing this test again.

"We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru," Uhura said, sounding extremely sarcastic. "The ship has lost all power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them."  
"Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them... _Captain_."

Even Nakai couldn't resist rolling her eyes at that statement, and she heard McCoy audibly sigh from the science station. As per every other attempt at this test, the tactical station lit up and Nakai was right on top of it.

"Two Klingon vessels have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us," she said.  
"That's okay," Jim said nonchalantly.  
"It is okay?" Nakai asked, turning to face Jim with a raised eyebrow.  
"Yeah, don't worry about it."

Nakai turned to look at McCoy, who shrugged. She turned back to her station as more alarms began to sound.

"Three more Klingon vessels are decloaking and targeting our ship." Nakai turned to Jim. "I do not suppose this is a problem either?"  
"Nope."  
"They are firing, _Captain_."  
"Alert Medical Bay to prepare to receive _all _crew members from the damaged ship."  
"And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, _Captain_," Uhura asked.  
"Alert Medical," Jim insisted, turning to face her.

Annoyed, she turned and alerted medical.

"Captain, our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty per cent," Nakai alerted.  
"I understand."  
"Well, shouldn't we, I don't know, fire back?" McCoy called.  
"No."  
"Of course not."

All of a sudden, there was another alarm on Nakai's tactical station, but when she looked down at the panels, the screens had gone black. The lights turned off and the simulation seemed to have stopped, until everything turned back on again. She checked her screens - the Klingone shields were gone. Nakai turned to Jim and gave him a scolding look. He shrugged his shoulders and began giving orders.

"Arm photons. Prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds."  
"Yes, sir," Nakai said. "Photon torpedoes are armed."  
"Fire on all enemy ships. One torpedo each should do the trick - don't wanna waste ammunition."  
"Targets locked and acquired on all enemy vessels. Firing."

Nakai fired on all the Klingon ships, and one by one they were all destroyed.

"All enemy vessels destroyed, sir," she said, almost sighing.  
"Begin rescue of the stranded crew," Jim ordered. He stood, looking proud of himself, and walked around the room. "So! We've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured _and_," he continued, turning to the observation room, "the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway."

Nakai glanced up at the observatory. She suddenly got nervous, seeing all the instructors watching them, then going off to talk amongst themselves. This wasn't supposed to happen. The Kobayashi Maru test was clearly meant to be unwinnable - at least according to the Vulcan. 

All the students began filing out of the room, with a few people giving Jim encouragement and praise, and others, like Uhura, giving him disapproving looks. When Jim, Nakai and McCoy were out of earshot, and on their way to their classes, Nakai smacked Jim upside the head. Both McCoy and Jim turned to her, surprised. 

"The hell, Kai?"  
"Do not call me that," Nakai hissed. "What were you thinking, Jim?"  
"I told you I'd pass the test," he said proudly.  
"By cheating?"  
"Cheating?" McCoy said, a little taken aback. "You cheated?"  
"Who said anything about cheating?"

A few cadets passed by, seemingly interested in their conversation. Nakai pulled them aside into an empty hallway.

"Did you not think that I too dislike losing?" Nakai asked. "It is not in a Vulcan's nature to fail. Which is why I did not go back to succeed."  
"Kai, that doesn't make any sense," McCoy said.  
"Because I did not succeed, I have divined that the purpose of the test was to fail. If you succeed on a test that is meant to be a failure, naturally you will be accused of cheating."  
"But why?"  
"Yeah, who the hell designs a test like that?" Jim asked, outraged.  
"A Vulcan."


	8. Distress Signal

"Do not be too hard on him."  
"Nakai, you know that what he did is unacceptable."  
"I am aware of that, but must at least acknowledge the thinking behind it."  
"No matter how... creative he might have been, he still changed the parameters of the test."

It was the following Monday. The Academic Panel had called a meeting to session to discuss Jim's actions. Nakai had been convinced by Jim to talk to the _dumb-ass Vulcan_ who'd devised the test, and that was precisely what she was doing. By no means did she expect to win against Spock, because she rarely could, but also because she knew that Spock and the Academy were right. If he didn't accept his failure and cheated, then he'd failed a no-win test. 

"You must know this," Spock said, as they sat down in the cafeteria.  
"I do know, Spock. But he is my friend, and I felt the need to speak on his behalf, regardless."

Spock nodded, understanding Nakai's thinking.

"How are you?" he asked. "We have not spoken in some time."  
"The exams have been taking up most of my time," Nakai explained. "I apologise."  
"Do not apologise. I prefer that you take your studies seriously."

Nakai smiled faintly. Once again, Spock was acting like an older brother.

"Has Starfleet been sending you letters again?"  
"Yes. You would think that after all this time, they would check your medical files and compare them," Nakai said with a sigh. She took a sip of tea. "During my meeting with the board, I told them as much. The Head of Starfleet himself said that they would compare the test results. That was three years ago... I do not know how much more of this push and pull they will accept on my behalf."  
"It is likely, that once you are assigned to a ship, they will be more insistent."  
"I suppose I will have to strike a deal with the Chief Medical Officer aboard that ship."

Spock glanced from his food and up at Nakai.

"It is interesting to hear you chastise your friend for cheating, and yet you yourself--"  
"I know it is hypocritical of me, Spock. However, it is not like I have cheated to perform better academically. It is simply unjust that I must resort to these methods to be accepted into the Academy. It is not my fault that my father is who he is. I _am_ still Vulcan, after all."  
"Indeed you are."

A beeping sound made its way to Nakai's ears, and Spock pulled out a PADD. He read something off of it, and then downed the rest of his tea.

"The briefing for the hearing is beginning soon, I must be there."  
"Of course."

Spock rose and as he was about to leave, Nakai called to him.

"Can you do me a favour, Spock?"  
"Anything."  
"Just... do not let him get expelled."

The man's eyebrows twitched in a split second on confusion, but he nodded, silently agreeing to her request. Nakai thanked him as he left, and then finished her own meal in silence. When she was done, she collected her plate and mug and brought them back to the counter. The cleanup crew thanked her, as always, and she left to go to her dorm room.

As usual, her roommate was nowhere to be found. Nakai sat on the edge of her bed and removed her boots and shed her standard blue uniform. She grabbed her formal uniform and brought it with her into the bathroom, allowing the steam from her shower to steam out the wrinkles. Nakai emerged from the bathroom clad in red and drying her hair with her towel. Her roommate had returned, and was lazily reading a magazine on her bed.

"I see you have not forgotten where your dorm room is."  
"Look, pointy-ears, I stay away from you because you annoy me - but I can't stay in my boyfriend's dorm forever."  
"That is not my concern," Nakai said, sitting down at her vanity.

It wasn't usually a Vulcan custom to groom or adorn themselves with anything fancy, but Nakai had gotten into the habit of taking _very_ good care of her hair and skin. It stemmed from an off-hand comment from Jim, who noticed that her hair and skin were rougher than expected. For some reason, it bothered her.

"What's the occasion?" Nakai's roommate asked. "Finally found someone who tolerates that boring personality of yours?"  
"There are several people who tolerate my boring personality, Nara," Nakai said as she dried her hair. "However, no, this is not for a personal event. I am attending Jim Kirk's academic hearing."  
"Jim? You know him?"  
"It might have escaped your notice, Nara, but he and I have been friends for three years now."  
"Damn, girl, and you haven't bagged that?"

Nakai paused. The thought of _bagging_ Jim Kirk was distressing, therefore she chose to ignore Nara and keep drying and straightening her hair. Then she put a thin layer of moisturiser on her face and turned from her vanity.

"You're not going to put makeup on?" Nara said, sounding almost disgusted.  
"Unlike you, Nara, I do not wish to hide the features of my face."  
"I would if I were you."

The Vulcan sighed and put half of her hair up into a bun, then pinned her Starfleet brooch to her uniform. She looked at herself in the full-body mirror for a few seconds, and after determining she looked adequate, she left. She followed some other cadets down the halls of the Academy, and then veered off into the presentation hall to meet up the others who were attending the meeting. McCoy and Jim were already there, standing amongst the small ocean of cadets all muttering about the meeting ahead. Nakai sighed and fixed McCoy's collar for him as he complained about it not being cooperative. When the doors opened, everyone filed in and took their seats. Soon after, the faculty and board members came in as well, and Nakai spotted Spock across the room just as the meeting was called into session.

"This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter," the Academy president said. "James T. Kirk step forward."

To her left, Nakai felt Jim rise. He passed in front of her and McCoy and made his way down to the stand.

"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code. Is there anything you wish to say before we begin, sir?"  
"Yes, I uh... I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly."

The Academic president glanced to the crowd. A few moments later, Spock stood and made his way to the stand as well. Jim didn't look happy at all. He and McCoy knew this Vulcan - they'd seen Nakai with him on several occasions, and knew that they'd known each other for a long time.

"This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru test for the last four years."  
"That's the Vulcan you grew up with?" McCoy whispered.  
"I have known him for fifteen years," Nakai whispered back. "He is somewhat akin to a brother, now."  
"Commander," the president said, bringing McCoy and Nakai back to the hearing.  
"Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test," Spock said.  
"Your point being?" Jim asked.  
"In academic vernacular, you cheated."

Jim scoffed.

"Let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? I mean, you programmed it to be unwinnable."  
"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario," Spock commented.   
"I don't believe in no-win scenarios."  
"Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson."  
"Please, enlighten me."  
"This test was inspired by someone close to me. Someone who had no choice to leave the things they held most dear behind in order to survive," Spock said.

He glanced to the crowd and to Nakai, who was having a very hard time controlling the unpleasant memories Spock was referring to. She could taste the dilithium crystal dust in her mouth, she could feel the disruptor blasts on her skin, she could feel the sheer panic in the face of her mother's probable death.

"The purpose is to experience fear as she did. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet Captain."

Jim looked down. He seemed to understand what Spock was talking about, and just as he was about to respond, a messenger interrupted the meeting. He went up to the president and presented him with a PADD. The president took a moment to read, and all of a sudden seemed worried. 

"We have received a distress call from Vulcan."

Suddenly, all Nakai could see was Spock as they exchanged looks from across the room. He could see the fear in Nakai's eyes, the emotions that were bubbling up to the surface, the ones she always had problems controlling. 

"With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed."  
"Kai, go," McCoy said. "I'll deal with Jim. Make sure we're all on the same ship."

Nakai gave her friend a sharp nod and leapt over the seat in front of her to get to Spock. Her heartbeat was rapid, and while you couldn't tell she was panicking, Spock knew it by the look in her eye.

"I would tell you to maintain control of your emotions, but I value my life," Spock said, leading Nakai out of the room.  
"Smart man," Nakai said, voice a little shaky. "You really designed the Kobayashi Maru after me?"  
"Yes. Is that a problem?"  
"No. I am strangely flattered."

They made it out of the presentation hall when someone approached Spock. They had a short conversation and then he left, leaving Spock with a PADD. 

"You are in luck. I am in charge of the flight manifest," Spock said. "I will assign you the Enterprise alongside Captain Pike and I. In any other case, I would avoid the appearance of favouritism, but I think Starfleet will not fault me for this."  
"Then might I ask a favour of you?"  
"You wish me to assign Cadet McCoy to the Enterprise?"  
"Yes. I trust him."  
"Very well." Spock pressed a few things on his tablet. "You do not wish to inquire about Cadet Kirk?"  
"I suspect he is suspended pending academic review."

Spock nodded and looked at Nakai's profile. She looked terrified, but beyond that, she looked determined.

Once at Hangar One, Spock and Nakai split up. She headed to the barracks that Spock had instructed her to go to, and checked in with the leader. He gave her the all clear as well as which position to report to, and then Nakai headed to the supply closets to gather some things. She changed into a standard operations uniform and took a moment to admire it before hurrying up to strap a belt to her waist and stuff a phaser in its holster. As a backup, she took a utility knife and stuffed it inside her boot.

Nakai hurried over to the right shuttle and helped the pilot prepare for takeoff. A few others entered the shuttle, and just before takeoff, McCoy and Jim burst in after arguing with the officer outside. Nakai went to greet them, but then saw Jim. He was red in the face and sweating all over. She raised an eyebrow at McCoy.

"Melvaran Mud Fleas."  
"Only the symptoms I hope?" Nakai asked, helping Jim settle into the seat between herself and McCoy.  
"Yeah. The idiot is on academic suspension," McCoy said. "You can thank your pointy-eared friend for that, but also for getting me on the Enterprise."  
"It only worked because this involves us both. Besides, I trust you."

McCoy smiled quickly and gratefully. He and Nakai settled into their seats and Jim gagged, the nausea part of the Melvaran Mud Flea symptoms kicking in. Nakai didn't notice. Her mind was on overdrive and her eyes were blankly gazing out the window of the shuttle. Controlling these running thoughts was proving impossible, and McCoy was starting to notice. Nakai was wringing her hands together and her brows were furrowed in concern. It was understandable, but he never expected this over display of emotion from a Vulcan.

"Kai," McCoy said softly.

The Vulcan snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. Her eyes were still a little wide and her eyebrows still furrowed, but he could tell that she was trying her best to control herself. He nodded to the shuttle window.

"Look."

Nakai turned back to the window, this time actually looking at what was there. It reminded her of what she saw when leaving Remus. The stars, the planet in the distance. But soon, something else came into view, and it temporarily distracted Nakai from the distress signal from Vulcan. The Starbase closest to Earth was coming into view as well as all the ships that were docked to it. It was a mass of metal and glass, but Nakai had never seen anything so remarkable. As they approached it, Nakai began identifying the ships they were passing by and finally, she could see the Enterprise in the distance. It was brand new, its construction completed this year. The ship was practically as shiny as a star, and Nakai was eager to serve aboard it. 

However, she wished it were under better circumstances.


	9. Tachyon Particles

McCoy and Nakai navigated Jim through the Hangar of the U.S.S. Enterprise as for him to not be seen. The air was warm and heavy, and the sounds of shuttles and people shouting over each other were nearly deafening to Nakai's sensitive hearing. Stations were beeping in the distance, alarms blaring and communicators ringing in people's pockets, and Nakai could hear them all. This organised chaos in the belly of a starship, these sounds... they were things that Nakai would love getting used to during her tenure on this ship. However, right now, Nakai was focused on her task. McCoy, Jim and herself weaved through the thicker crowds and bumped into several people, swiftly pushed through them to get to an access panel.

"Hell, it's that pointy-eared bastard," McCoy called.

In the distance, Nakai could see Spock. She pushed McCoy and Jim aside.

"Get him to Medical Bay, and yourselves changed."  
"Where're you going?" McCoy asked.  
"I need to report to the bridge," Nakai said, a little pride in her voice.  
"Favouritism," Jim mumbled through an excessive amount of saliva.  
"Clearly."  
"Hey Kai!" McCoy called as Nakai was leaving. "Be safe!"

Nakai turned and looked at her friends. For the first time in over ten years, she smiled.

"You too, my friends."

She left McCoy and Jim gaping, and caught up with Spock. He acknowledged her with a short nod and he lead up all the way through the hangar and towards the turbolifts. He pressed something on the command panel inside the turbolift and then it began moving upwards until it reached the bridge. It was a technological marvel. Translucent command panels glowed with blue and red, and the stations were pure white. The display screen was the biggest Nakai had ever seen, as were the panels for the science and engineering stations on the back wall. To Nakai's immediate right was the tactical command post, and she broke off from Spock and headed to it immediately. 

"Mr Spock," Captain Pike called from his chair.  
"Captain," Spock acknowledged.   
"I see you've brought up a new recruit."  
"Cadet Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf reporting for duty, sir," Nakai said, saluting.  
"Do you trust her, Spock?"  
"With my life, sir."  
"At ease, Cadet. Get ready and stay sharp."  
"Aye, Captain."

Nakai shot a grateful glance to Spock, and began calibrating everything on her station. She checked the shields, the torpedoes, the phaser banks and made sure that everything was stocked and ready to operate. She checked with the security teams to make sure that everyone had reported for duty, and made a report for the Captain by the time he'd arrive to her station after a round of the bridge.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance than we can afford today," Pike said, returning to his seat. "Her christening will just have to be a reward for a safe return home. Carry on." He pressed a button on his command chair. "All decks, this is Captain Pike. Prepare for immediate departure. Helm, thrusters."  
"Moorings retracted, Captain. Dock Control reports ready," the man at the helm said. "Thrusters fired. Separating from spacedock."

Nakai watched the viewscreen as the Enterprise detached itself from the Starbase. Ahead, she could see all the other ships waiting to depart, and beyond that, the vast emptiness of space.

"The fleet's cleared spacedock, Captain. All ships ready for warp."  
"Set a course for Vulcan."  
"Aye, sir. Course laid in."  
"Maximum warp," Pike said. "Punch it."

The helmsman prepared for warp, and as he increased the speed, Nakai could feel the engine build up power. However, while all the other ships had entered warp, the Enterprise hadn't moved. The helmsman disengaged warp-speed and rechecked his station.

"Lieutenant, where's helmsman McKenna?" Pike asked.  
"He has lungworms, sir. He couldn't report to his post," he said, then turned to the Captain. "I'm Hikaru Sulu."  
"And you are a pilot, right?"  
"Very much so, sir. I'm uh... not sure what's wrong."  
"Is the parking brake on?" Pike joked.  
"No, sir," Sulu said, turning back to helm. "I'll figure it out."  
"Have you disengaged the external inertial dampeners?" Spock asked.

Sulu seemed irked for a moment, but then disengaged the proper dampeners.

"Ready for warp, sir."  
"Punch it."

Sulu engaged the warp drive again, and once again Nakai could feel the engine working under her feet. And then, in a split second, they were travelling at warp speed, stars and solar systems passing by them faster than the speed of light. It was fascinating, and if Nakai didn't have to concern herself with scanning every single inch of space, she'd stare at it for hours.

"Engines at maximum warp, Captain," Sulu said.  
"Russian whiz kid, what's your name?" Captain Pike asked. "Chanko? Cherpov?"  
"Ensign Chekov. Pavel Andreievich, sir," the boy said in a heavy accent, turning to face the Captain.  
"Fine. Chekov, Pavel Andreievich. Begin a ship-wide mission broadcast."  
"Yes, sir. Happy to." He turned back to his station. "Ensign authorization code nine-five-wictor-wictor-two."  
"Authorization not recognised."  
"Ensign authorization code nine-five-victor-victor-two," Chekov said with some effort.  
"Authorisation recognised."  
"May I have your attention, please. At 2200 hours, telemetry detected an anomaly in the Neutral Zone."

Nakai gaze shifted immediately to Chekov and then to Spock, who had also turned to Nakai when the Neutral Zone was mentioned. Were the Romulans involved? Suddenly, the anxiety and the fear Nakai had been feeling was slowly being replaced with anger. She'd escaped them before, left them behind for good - how dare they attack her home?

"What appeared to be a lightning storm in space. Soon after, Starfleet received a distress signal from the Wulcan High Command that their planet was experiencing seismic activity. Our mission is to assess the condition of Wulcan and assist in evacuations if necessary. We should be arriving at Wulcan within three minutes. Thank you for your time."

Chekov ended the transmission, and Nakai focused back onto her readings. Spock came up beside her a seconds after.

"Should the Romulans be involved... how much information will you permit me to divulge?"  
"None, Spock. I will divulge it myself as it becomes necessary," Nakai said. "Thank you for asking."  
"I would never do something that would personally affect you in a negative way, Nakai. I consider you... a sister."  
"And you... my brother."

Both Vulcan nodded respectfully to each other, just as someone burst onto the bridge. It was Jim, followed by Uhura and McCoy, who shot Nakai an apologetic glance before following Jim again.

"Captain! Captain Pike, sir!"  
"Jim! Come back here!" McCoy scolded.  
"Captain! We have to stop the ship!"

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. Stop the ship? As she listened to Jim, she began numerous scans of the area ahead.

"Kirk, how the hell did you get onboard the Enterprise?"  
"Captain, this man's under the influence of a severe reaction to a vaccine," McCoy tried to explain.  
"Bones, please--"  
"He's completely delusional - I take full responsibility."  
"Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans."  
"Romulans?" Pike scoffed. "Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day. McCoy take him back to medical. We'll have words later."  
"Look, sir, that same anomaly that we saw today--"  
"Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel," Spock interjected.  
"I get it. You're a great arguer."  
"I can have him removed--"  
"Try it! I'm trying to save the ship!" Jim shouted. "That same anomaly that we saw today also occurred on the day of my birth, before a Romulan ship attacked the U.S.S. Kelvin. You know that Captain, I read your dissertation. That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry, was never seen or heard from again. Until now - I'm sure that's what Nakai is scanning for now."

Nakai almost sighed at Jim's words. The Captain, Spock and every other head in the room turned towards her, waiting for an answer. 

"Yes, it is."  
"Cadet?" Captain Pike called.  
"When a Romulan ship is active or is cloaked, it emits high levels of tachyon particles," Nakai said. "If I reconfigure the scanners and target the search for those particles, then we will be able to detect any Romulan ships that are in the area or have been in the last 24 to 48 hours."  
"Spock?"  
"It is a very particular emission, Captain. However, Starfleet has detected tachyon emissions near the Neutral Zone before. Therefore it is a sound analysis on Cadet Nakai's part."  
"Keep scanning, Cadet. I want everything."  
"Yes, sir."

Captain Pike turned back to Jim.

"The anomaly was on the edge of Klingon space. At 2300 hours last night, there was an attack - 47 Klingon warbirds were destroyed by Romulans, sir, and it was reported that the Romulans were on one ship, one massive ship."  
"If it was a single ship," Nakai said, as she continued her scans, "then it is likely a Romulan mining vessel. I will narrow my search parameters."  
"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Pike asked.  
"I intercepted and translated the message myself," Uhura said, most likely against her better judgement. "Kirk's report is accurate, sir."  
"We're warping into a trap," Jim insisted. "The Romulans are waiting for us, I promise you that."  
"Spock?"  
"The Cadet's logic is sound. And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in Xenolinguistics. We would be wise to accept her conclusions."  
"All right, scan Vulcan space - look for any Romulan transmissions," Captain Pike said.  
"Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Vulcan language from Romulan," the communications officer said.

Nakai turned over to the officer, but Spock rose an eyebrow at her. She caught herself and stopped, returning to her station. However, Pike had noticed. He made no comment.

"Can you speak Romulan?" he asked Uhura.  
"All three dialects, sir."  
"Good. Relieve the Lieutenant."  
"Yes, sir."

Uhura took the communications officer's place, and he hailed all the other ships as instructed by the Captain.

"All the other ships have left warp and are in Vulcan space, sir, but we seem to have lost all contact."  
"Captain," Nakai called. "There are high concentrations of tachyon particles in Vulcan space. Judging by the level of dissipation and the quantities still remaining, it is safe to assume that there is currently a large Romulan ship ahead."

Nakai went silent for a moment.

"Cadet?"  
"Sir, if my calculations are correct, and I can assure you they are... the Romulan vessel is approximately nine thousand meters in length."

Nakai looked up at the Captain, and he could see the fear in her eyes even though the rest of her face gave nothing away. Nakai tried her best to calm herself, but the memories of herself on ships like that, deep in caves or being abused by her father were too strong in this moment of emotional vulnerability to suppress. She was slowly breaking down, and if she didn't have anything else to concentrate on, Nakai would literally burst. This is thing was attacking her home, and it most likely had killed the entire fleet ahead of them. The purpose of the Kobayashi Maru test seemed far in her mind.

"Sir, I pick up to Romulan transmissions in the area," Uhura said. "Or any transmission at all."  
"It's because they're being attacked," Jim insisted.

Pike stared at Jim and then sat down in his chair.

"Nakai, shields up. Red alert."  
"Aye, sir," she said, voice strained. "Shields up."

The alarm began blaring all over the ship. The entire bridge went into battle position, and Nakai re-calibrated the photon torpedoes and the phaser banks. 

"Arrival at Vulcan in five seconds," Sulu stated. "Four... Three... Two... One!"


End file.
